Did you know that because I'm gay...
?I'm 45% more likely to end up homeless;;
I'm 83% more likely to be a victim of a hate crime;;
I'm 80% more likely to have social isolation problems;;
I'm 2 - 6 times more likely to accomplish suicide than heterosexuals;;
I'm 4 - 5 times more likely to develop Depression than heterosexuals;;
I'm 45% more likely to experience verbal/physical harrassment in my lifetime;;
And I'm at a much higher risk to abuse alcohol and illegal substances than heterosexuals
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so i have been feeling worse and worse as the days move on. i feel like i
have no place it seems no matter what i try or how hard i try i fail. since
my ex gf from almost 2 years ago broke up with me all of my relationships
have ended with me being left i have no idea why i think i do everything
great i am devoted to someone to the end i have never cheated never hit a
girl never bad mouthed her all i did was be the best i could be i have done
so much and been hurt hard the harder i try the worse the break up is and
it dose not stop there even girls i show interest and move on and forget
me. i loved a girl for over a year devoted to the end i have rode a bike
for 2 hours both ways to see one girl i have taken them to dinner taken
them out with my friends took them to family gathering and gone to family
gatherings i have slaved for a week to buy them a gift for there birthday
or a holiday i have brought them the most beautiful roses and wrote the
sweetest of poems every night because i wanted to show i cared i never
asked for anything but love nothing more. i work hard to be the best i can
be and i fail. i have always wanted a family a house a wife i have my own
life that i am building but not a single person wants a part of it. i have
tried so hard and had so much pain there is nothing that i have not been
through i feel like i am dieing inside i feel sick and beat. i see so many
so happy with there lives and all i do is sit on the side and watch it all
play i see the horrible things girls go through with there lovers and they
still love there person. i always ask why do they have the right to be
happy? what have i done that's so wrong? am i really that bad of a person?
why dose every girl want a guy like me and after they have that they leave
me for someone less someone who beats them yells at them treats them like
shit and never cares? why must someone like me have to suffer? i wish i
could put how i feel in words but it would never be what i would feel is a
good description of it. i just want to know. whats wrong with me and please
don't say nothing so many have told me that and yet this still happens to
me.
